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OopsI'm going to kill myself.Not tonight.Probably not tomorrow.But I leave in the morning to go back to school,And I have a feeling I won't be coming home.I should probably be more concerned.Oh well.
Circular ThinkingHave you ever been so unhappy that you can’t do anything:Can't sleep,Can't focus,Can't do a damn thing but sitAnd thinkAbout how much you absolutely hateEverythingAboutYourself?And then,While you’re busy hating yourself,You’re not getting anything done,So you hate yourself for that.You’re caught in a never-ending cycle of self-loathing and failure.This is my life.And I hate myself for it.
Possible Rough Draft. Maybe.Somewhere, deep inside, there is a lead box.It was intentionally misplaced,But it's there, buried and hidden and locked up tight.The box stays closed no matter what;It is best that way.Too many thoughts are its prisoner.I don't care to visit.It's Pandora's Box with no hope,And I am wise enough to turn away.It's too much hurt for everyone.The box must stay hidden.Yet, here I am in this dark, lonely corner,Key in hand,Deciding: unbearable releaseOr annhilating explosion?There is no happy medium.
RealityLate at night,When you can't stop sobbing,Your heart and mind are racing,And all you want is for everything to stop,You wish for courageSanityUnderstandingChangeLoveHappinessDeath;Anything to provide an escape from your mind.But nothing comesAnd nothing changes.You are alone.You can't stop sobbing.Your heart and mind are racing.And all you want is for everything to stop.Please, just stop.
The Steps to CuttingMy arm, burning for a blade,Because of the feelings that just won't fade,I try to say, "Go away!"Instead they just replay.The blades are sitting in front of me,My hand is shaking, fighting the need,I pick up a blade, to complete the deed,The blade flies across my anatomy.My arms are bleeding, my heart is torn,My legs are cut, my feelings worn,The time right now, I feel reborn,Until tomorrow, when I'll be scorned...