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OopsI'm going to kill myself.
Probably not tomorrow.
But I leave in the morning to go back to school,
And I have a feeling I won't be coming home.
I should probably be more concerned.
Circular ThinkingHave you ever been so unhappy that you can’t do anything:
Can't do a damn thing but sit
About how much you absolutely hate
While you’re busy hating yourself,
You’re not getting anything done,
So you hate yourself for that.
You’re caught in a never-ending cycle of self-loathing and failure.
This is my life.
And I hate myself for it.
Possible Rough Draft. Maybe.Somewhere, deep inside, there is a lead box.
It was intentionally misplaced,
But it's there, buried and hidden and locked up tight.
The box stays closed no matter what;
It is best that way.
Too many thoughts are its prisoner.
I don't care to visit.
It's Pandora's Box with no hope,
And I am wise enough to turn away.
It's too much hurt for everyone.
The box must stay hidden.
Yet, here I am in this dark, lonely corner,
Key in hand,
Deciding: unbearable release
Or annhilating explosion?
There is no happy medium.
RealityLate at night,
When you can't stop sobbing,
Your heart and mind are racing,
And all you want is for everything to stop,
You wish for courage
Anything to provide an escape from your mind.
But nothing comes
And nothing changes.
You are alone.
You can't stop sobbing.
Your heart and mind are racing.
And all you want is for everything to stop.
Please, just stop.
The Steps to CuttingMy arm, burning for a blade,
Because of the feelings that just won't fade,
I try to say, "Go away!"
Instead they just replay.
The blades are sitting in front of me,
My hand is shaking, fighting the need,
I pick up a blade, to complete the deed,
The blade flies across my anatomy.
My arms are bleeding, my heart is torn,
My legs are cut, my feelings worn,
The time right now, I feel reborn,
Until tomorrow, when I'll be scorned...
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More